Perpetuating Stupidity in Today's Society:

I’m appalled at what passes for headlines in this… the 24-hour, round-the-clock news generation! I swear! I just read a “Developing Story” headline on cnn.com. It went something like this: Clinton Answers Questions at Confirmation Hearing.

On the surface, it’s a great headline. But, for those of us that went to journalism school… this author did all of our degrees a GREAT disservice! One rule, let’s call it Rule No. 1, in headline writing is: If it can be written before the event, then it’s not a good headline! So, knowing that confirmation hearings are an opportunity for a nominee to answer questions, this leads me to say, “WTF!!!”

Now, another caveat, proviso if you will, of journalism is to pander to the lowest common denominator. Meaning, if the public reads, on average, at a sixth-grade level, then that’s how you write. However, this headline panders to the little boy down the street who just learned how to read last term!

Even my dog, who’s hepped up on pain killers after minor surgery, would look at me and go, “Duh!” So, on behalf of J-School grads and dogs everywhere, BRAVO! Kudos to the headline writer at CNN for perpetrating to greatest ruse ever! You have fooled your superiors into thinking, A) You can write, B) You can write eye-fetching headlines, C) You have a journalism degree. You, my cnn.com headline-writer-friend, join the likes of George O’Leary. Yes, the Notre Dame head football coach who quit after one week on the job because he lied on his resume!

So, you, out there traversing the Information Superhighway, are saying, “I’d like to see you do better, whomever you are ‘Mr. Drewsp75!”

I’ll see you your ante, and raise you one job application. I’d like to apply for that jokers’ job! Here is my headline writing resume:

“Local Boy Makes Good”

“Day Ends When Sun Sets”

“Binge Drinking Prevalent on College Campuses”

“Lost Treasure Hard to Find; Search Continues”

So, if anyone out there needs someone to cull through your story and write you a headline… like the one seen on cnn.com… just call me.

It’s so wonderful to see how low our society’s standard for news has dropped! Oh, has anyone got any updates on Brittany Spears? Maybe six hours of Nancy Grace’s coverage of Caylee Anthony is the answer. Maybe Nancy Grace’s yellow journalism tactics will get us out of this economic mess. I mean, if people didn’t die… Nancy wouldn’t have a show, she couldn’t sell advertising, and she couldn’t make six figures to support her two kids that she drones on about… ad nauseum. Maybe I’m the problem. In order to know about Spears and Grace, I would’ve been one of the millions of viewers that register on their ratings reports.

So, to sum up: It’s the chicken or the egg. Does bad headline writing lead to bad coverage, or does inane news coverage lead to stale headlines? Any way you slice it… I still think I can be a lucrative headline writer in today’s newsroom bullpen.